It's raining again.

I'd take shelter in a wolf's den if I could, just to escape the buckets of water drenching my garments into a soggy mess, but there's no such luck for me, oh no.

Sighing, I pick a direction at random and follow it doggedly. It has to lead out of this nameless forest somewhere.

I think I'm the only person in the world who could be caught dripping wet, lost in the middle of nowhere, and still be smiling.

It's this rain, I suppose...I always smile when it rains, dating back to that faraway day when Shishio-sama whisked me away from my previous life. I killed my family, and I smiled.

Is that strange?

Was there supposed to be something fundamentally incompatible between those two facts?

They call me a freak for smiling so much...all of them. My deceased foster family, my current companions, those sundry acquaintances I pick up during the course of business dealings...they don't seem to understand *why* my lips can twitch upwards at the most inappropriate times. Shishio-sama doesn't...but then he's something of a freak himself, so his opinion is probably somewhat skewed.

I contemplate explaining, sometimes, but always dismiss the thought. After all, what they think of me is their business, and I really couldn't care less.

But the truth of the thing is, I don't smile because I'm happy all the time, as some people so readily assume.

I smile because I never am.

That's not to say that I'm un-happy, of course...I'm quite content with the world as it is. I feel pleasure. A never-ending, unbroken sense of pleasure.

Even pleasure can grow boring after awhile.

I think I once heard someone, somewhere, define happiness as 'the fulfillment of a wish, the increase of joy, the lessening of pain'. And when I heard it, I knew, for certain, that I could never be happy.

I have no wishes.

I feel no joy.

No pain, either.

And it's not like I mind, of course...that's part of the problem. If I really wanted to be happy...if I really wanted anything, as a matter of fact...then I would have a wish, wouldn't I? And a shot at happiness, however remote the chances.

But that's not the way things are. That's not the way *I* am. I'm just not built for happiness, I guess...the gods must have left something out when creating me. Of course, they couldn't be expected to take particular notice of every birth they handle, now could they? A few aberrations are to be expected, and who can complain?

If I only smiled out of happiness, I would never smile.

Smiling is an occasionally necessary weapon, though. It can save a lot of pain, and don't I know it.

So I smile. And because I can't tell when I should, I just keep it tacked on for good.

It works out fairly well, really. There are times when it serves no purpose, such as now, when the only ones who can see my grin are the gods and a bunch of soggy trees. But on the whole, it pays. Old ladies look on indulgently when they see their grandchildren wander over to my side for a chat. Business associates are more accommodating than they would be if faced with Shishio-sama's fierce pride and superiority. They all seem to think it means something, this twist of the facial muscles, when in reality...

I smile when I eat.

I smile when I talk.

I smile when the sword slices through my victim's body, smile as their warm warm blood splashes onto my face and my clothes and fills my nostrils with their salty scent -- though I'm rarely that sloppy.

I *don't* smile when I sleep, which is something, I guess. Yumi-neesan says I look more like the killer I am when asleep than otherwise.

Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

But that's just another mystery of the incomprehensible world.

The sky seems to be lightening, and I can make things out more clearly than before.

The rain is letting up.

I have to hurry, now. The Jupongatana are scattered far and wide, so it'll take a while to gather them. I don't have any time to waste meandering aimlessly through forest walks.

When I bring them back to Kyoto...then, finally, Shishio-sama's precious coup can take place. Maybe I'll even get a chance to fight Himura again.

Himura...for some reason, the smile upon my lips wavers. Why? It's not like he really means anything...just another obstruction to be cleared away. But somehow, when I think of him, I don't want to smile.

Most confusing.

I find myself looking to him for answers...

But I don't even know what questions to ask.

Perhaps, the next time we meet...perhaps it'll be more than just a clashing of swords, and the spraying of blood...

We'll just have to see, won't we?

A thin ray of light appears in the clearing before me --

The sun has broken through.